tomorrow is my birthday: humble beginnings

What better way to begin this blog than to attempt to explain its title. It comes from a poem by Emily Dickinson:

They shut me up in Prose--
As when a little Girl
They put me in the Closet--
Because they liked me "still"--

Still! Could themself have peeped--
And seen my Brain--go round--
They might as wise have lodged a Bird
For Treason--in the Pound--

Himself has but to will
And easy as a Star
Abolish his Captivity--
And laugh--No more have I--

Lovely, yes?

So then, I intend the title of my blog to be, on the one hand, willful, playfully defiant: "You CAN'T shut me up in prose!" This meaning suits me especially well, because, to begin with, my perhaps uncommonly childlike 28-year-old identity is often a major source of crisis (Am I an irresponsible, immature, pathetic thing, or only "forever young"?) and so will serve as a proper introduction to the resulting brainstorming, griping, recording, and general navel-gazing you're sure to find here. Spun into this meaning is the idea that prose can be a particularly stifling medium for a writer; I've always found myself more comfortable in poetry, hence the blog's promise to explore "the poetic"--whatever that means. Furthermore, another important intention of this blog is to practice and experiment in a decidedly non-restrictive form. (I am especially taken with the description of the "digital Wild West" over at Bkish.

Also, and perhaps contrarily, I intend the title to imply "PLEASE shut me up in prose." Although this entry is perhaps already too mired in the academic tone that has dominated my life for the greater part of my 20s, my hope is that brief, natural, unabashed musings will satisfy my need for both a creative outlet and an exercise in self-discipline.

Speaking of discipline, I'd like to acknowledge, as we get off the ground here, why I'm starting this thing in the first place. I've told myself for a time that beginning a blog might be a good thing for me--a freeing, exciting, terrifying, worthwhile, even virtuous (!) thing. And, certainly, the New Year seems a great time, as does my 28th birthday, as does the first year of my first full-time job. As you can imagine, or perhaps already know, one's first full-time job and the end of one's 20s can be an anxiety-inducing period in life, but I am determined to stave off unnecessary pressure by relishing what I'll call "true living"--again, whatever that means. To make matters simpler, I've tricked myself into making this a hopeful place by including the delightful word "up" in the title. (Let's just hope it doesn't go up in flames.)

Before I sign off, lest you think I had the courage to start this blog for the above reasons alone, let me introduce you to the instigator of this venture, my wonderful kick in the pants: my worldly, beautiful, generally awesome friend Susan over at Let There Be Chaos. Both Susan and I are English instructors at community colleges in Kentucky, and Susan had the brilliant idea to stir together our teaching struggles and our personal/intellectual/social lives as educated, cultured, unmarried Kentucky women to make a batter for blogging.

This is the humble beginning, and into the oven it goes.